Your stepmom role requires a lot from you, and it's easy to become resentful and bitter when you're faced with too much to do. But there's a better approach to your responsibilities, one in which your giving is a wonderful choice, full of potential instead of pressure.

This affirmation of giving is two-fold. Give what you want to get back, and give only what you can give freely.

When you give what you want to get back, you are building the life you want for yourself because you're becoming a bigger and better person. If you want compassion and gratitude in your life, give it to your family. If you want forgiveness for your mistakes, give it to those who hurt you. If you want to learn, teach. If you want to move forward, let go of the past. You affirm a great power when you give those gifts that you want returned to you, without strings attached or expectations included.

For example, if your stepkids are rude or distant, give them your kindness and attention, while you protect yourself at the same time. Give them a release from past mistakes and an open door to your heart, but don't think that you can force them to love and cherish you. Give them the chance for a close and loving relationship, but realize that it's a choice both of you must make.

When you give them the part of you that sees hope and possibility, maybe they'll find that same part in themselves. And then everyone's life will be better.

The second part of this affirmation is to give of yourself in the ways that you can give. To give yourself to your family is affirming all by itself, but it's most effective when you give what you truly want to give. Give as much of yourself as you're comfortable giving. Understand that statement well because an ounce given freely is worth more than a ton given out of obligation.

There is no one way to be a good stepmom, and there is no blue ribbon waiting for you after some arbitrary mark you reach, so don't saddle yourself with an expectation of perfection. It's true that you have to give of yourself to get the relationship you want with your stepchild, but it's most important that you give what you can give freely, whatever that is, or he'll see right through it.

Give your best to your stepchildren that you can give to them on any one day, in any one encounter. Sometimes, that won't be much. Other times, you'll be amazed by the depth of your own heart. Take your time in building this relationship that was never planned. It can feel unnatural and foreign, and that's when you have to go slowly, giving where you can, what you can, trusting yourself.

I know that there are times when you have to make sacrifices for your stepchildren, and there will be times when you'll want to. That's wonderful. The point of this affirmation is that your level of satisfaction with your life greatly depends on how much you give by choice. Giving for the wrong reasons won't fulfill you or be good for your family. You can't "fake it till you make it" in your relationship with your stepkids. Trust that you will get to where you want to be when you give the best that you can give freely and straight from your heart.