When you and your spouse have your Rules set, it's time to share them with the kids. You may want to hold a Family Meeting. Here's how.

Give everyone at least a day's notice of when your meeting will be. Schedule it for a time when you can be quiet and uninterrupted. An hour or so should be plenty of time for this meeting -- any longer and everyone will get tired and you'll lose their attention. If it looks like you need more time, schedule another meeting.

Tell the kids the reason for the meeting. You can create an agenda if you want to, and ask them if they have any issues that they would like to discuss. Older kids may have some specific needs that they want addressed by House Rules. Listen to what they have to say.

Make your meeting fun. Sit in a circle on the floor or gather on the picnic table out back. Maybe you'll want to have snacks, too. Remember to turn off all televisions, radios or other distractions. Focus on each other.

Start by explaining the reasons and benefits of House Rules (from Lesson #1). Be sure that the kids know that both parents arrived at the Rules together, and that either parent in the home can enforce them -- no questions asked. Failing to respond to the stepparent who tries to enforce a rule is definitely breaking one of the rules!

Be sure that the kids know what will happen when they break a rule. They must understand that there will be consequences, and that those consequences will be immediate and unpleasant. The rest is up to the kids.

** It's their responsibility

When the kids know the rules, they are free to follow them or break them. But if they choose to break the rules, they are also choosing to accept the consequences. All of the responsibility for their level of comfort lies with them, not you or their parent.

When you follow through with the uncomfortable consequences, it's a result of *their* choice, not yours. It won't take them long to figure that equation out. Even the youngest members of your household will learn quickly.

Realize that the Rules you set in this meeting won't necessarily stay the same throughout your children's time in the home. As they grow and new issues develop, you may need different rules to accommodate the situations. There is no limit to the Rules in your home, but the underlying principle must remain the same -- the Rules reflect the values that you and your spouse want to impart to the kids. Keep that focus.

You may want to post your Rules on a bulletin board or the refrigerator. Even if the kids aren't old enough to read, they will benefit by seeing a reminder of what's expected of them every day.

Set a good example by following the Rules that apply to you, too. Model the kind of behavior you want from the kids. Help them learn the Rules and see how much simpler and more enjoyable their life is when it's structured around your House Rules.

Good luck!