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Few life changes are more traumatic than becoming part of a stepfamily. Even today, when more than half of all adults in the United States are members of stepfamilies, when it's you, it feels like you're the only person in the world to experience the terror and uncertainty of stepfamily life.
But you're not alone. These articles here will give you some guidance, and there are lots of other resources to help, too. Good luck!
These three things from you can help start your new life in a wonderful way.
Time. You can't expect your stepfamily to "blend" right away, no matter how much you wish it were so. Even when all of the members get along, it still takes time for stepfamilies to reach a new ground where everyone feels comfortable and secure in the family. Grant yourself and your family members this time and don't expect too much too soon.
Forgiveness. When your new family begins, you'll have many false starts, many situations you've never encountered before, many times to fail. Your feelings will be shattered, and you'll hurt those you love the most. Resist the urge to harbor hurt feelings and grudges. Reach out to your family with forgiveness and a willingness to understand. Grant yourself the same forgiveness.
Commitment. There will be times when you will think you simply can't go on, when it hurts, and when building a new family seems impossible. That's okay, just go on anyway! Those bad days will give way to good ones, and your stepfamily will grow -- as long as you don't give up. Building a successful stepfamily is never easy, but it is achievable for those who don't quit.
More:
Naming the Stepparent
Where Will You Live?
Building Loyalty
Building Traditions
The Stepfamily Vacation
The Family Meeting
Establishing Your House Rules
Contract with your Older Stepchild
Contract with your Younger Stepchild
Importance of Documentation
Letting Go, Holding On
The Stepmom's Four-Week Plan for Less Stress
The Christian Stepmom's Primer
* * * Please check back -- more coming soon!
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