One of the best things you can do to take control of your stepfamily's finances is to teach all of your kids to respect money. Kids may have a natural "gimme" attitude and a lack of understanding about finances, but you and your spouse can teach them. You are their best example.

These steps will help you teach your kids about money and resolve some of the financial conflicts in your family:

Be a good role model. Handle your money responsibly and let your kids see how you do it. Take care of your belongings so that they last longer, don't buy things you don't need, shop around for the best deal, contribute to a savings account. Tell the kids, no matter how young or old they are, about your efforts to keep your financial troubles to a minimum.

Get the kids involved. As soon as the kids are old enough to understand the concept of "money in, money out," let them in on your budgeting process. Let them know that there is a bottom to your bank account, and you may have to make some tough choices that they won't like, but being part of a family includes sharing the challenges as well as the joys.

Work toward a common goal. Establish together a family goal, perhaps a trip or a better car or a new item for your home. Decide how you will work together to reach your goal, by making cutbacks, eliminating waste, and any other creative ideas your family can implement. Make the goal a mission that unites your family and becomes about something far more important than money.

Let the kids pay their way. Starting at a very young age, kids can earn money to buy things they want. As they get older, the things they want will become more expensive, but they can still be expected to work for their money. Even if you can afford to buy whatever your children and stepchildren want, you'll do them a bigger favor if you allow them the satisfaction of earning their money themselves.

Keep at it. You'll encounter lots of emergencies and setbacks as you work to solve financial problems in your family. Kids always present new challenges, and money situations and needs can change quickly. Be prepared with a good budget, and if you get sidetracked, recover and regroup as quickly as possible and get back to your financial plan.

Remember your marriage. As with most issues that stepfamilies face, when money problems arise, the underlying basis of strength must be your marriage. Work with your spouse to solve your problems by being willing to compromise, learning from past mistakes, and teaching your kids the value of proper money management. Good luck!

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