The focus the first week of our Plan is on you. You might be tempted to enact some change on your family members during the week, but try to keep the focus just on yourself as much as possible.

1. Obligations. We all have obligations. Take a moment to identify, reconsider and prioritize yours. Ideally, all of the obligations in your life will also be actions you would choose to have in your life. For example, if you were obligated to chair a committee or teach a class, the obligation would bring you joy and a sense of satisfaction. If not, then it's an obligation that may be causing you more stress than it's worth, and you need to reconsider having it in your life.

Make a list of all your obligations. Then pretend that right now, you can eliminate the ones you don't enjoy. Draw a line through those. Now, examine why you can't eliminate them. Are there any you can just say no to? Which is the most unpleasant one? Start working this week to eliminate at least one of those unwanted obligations from your life. Give yourself a deadline. Write it down, and get to work removing this unwanted obligation from your life.

2. Procrastination. We procrastinate for one of two reasons -- laziness or fear of failure. And perhaps there's a third, habit. Regardless of the reason, procrastination causes stress because it means inaction, and as long as you aren't doing what you can about a situation, it will cause you stress.

What are you procrastinating about right now? Is it something as unavoidable as preparing your income taxes or something as complicated as talking about a recurring problem with your spouse? Whatever it is, make a plan to start dealing with it today. Even if you just take one tiny step in its direction, start tackling that issue now. Promise yourself a reward when it's done if you need to, but work on it each day this week and congratulate yourself on your progress. Stop procrastinating, start acting, and watch the stress level fall.

3. Clutter. The physical clutter around you can compound your mental stress, even if you don't realize it. Like mental potholes, a physical space that's disorganized or filled with too much stuff can add to your stress because it feels so out of control. How is your clutter causing you problems and wasting your energy?

Do you spend valuable time searching for common items? Do you rush out the door each morning, exhausted after sorting through piles of things you don't need anyway, in search of the one thing you do? Can you sit down in one place with all the supplies you need to pay bills or write a letter? Have hobbies become more of a nuisance than an enjoyment?

Cleaning out some of the clutter in your house won't create an instantly happy stepfamily, but ridding yourself of clutter - your clutter - will free up more of your mental energy and help you think more clearly. Eliminate some of the daily clutter that you control and you eliminate some of your stress. This week, choose one area to de-clutter and organize. If you can, do it alone and take your time. Enjoy the process and especially enjoy the result.

4. Indecision. Where there is indecision in your life, there is stress, because indecision means a lack of control. Making a decision puts the control for its implementation into your hands and refocuses your energy into work instead of worry.

What do you need to decide right now? When you have a complicated decision to make, of course you have to give yourself time to gather all the facts, examine the consequences and weigh your options. So do it now. Identify the biggest decision you've been wrestling with. Study it carefully, make your choice and move on. Be ready to act so that you can improve your life!

Sometimes, we stress ourselves over just the simplest decisions every day that we are reluctant to make, something as common as what to buy for a birthday gift. Identify those simple decisions you face, and this week, make those decisions and get them off your mind. Use this wonderful power that's yours, and eliminate the stress from your life that is caused by indecision. You'll find it quite liberating.

5. Forgiveness. There is a never-ending need for forgiveness in a stepfamily. Regardless of how often forgiveness is extended (or not extended) to you, you can reduce your stress when you extend it to yourself and others. Don't be afraid, it won't hurt a bit.

First, is there anything you need to forgive yourself for? You can't grow when you have that kind of baggage holding you down. Today, say out loud, "I forgive myself for those mistakes. I've learned from them, and it's time to move on."

Then, examine the grudges you're holding against others, and make a choice to forgive them, too. You don't have to speak to the people who have hurt you, and you're not justifying what they've done. Just in your heart, let it go.

Each day this week, when you get up in the morning, remember that you have chosen to forgive yourself and those around you. Imagine those hurts and mistakes as a weight upon your shoulders that you have put aside, along with the stress that comes with them. A little forgiveness goes a long way.

Remember, you have much control over how you contribute to your own stress level. Don't be afraid to use it as you work for a more peaceful life.

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