In This Issue: 1. Holiday Stepping
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Oh, my, it's almost that time of year again. Can you hear me groan? The holidays are supposed to be a time for family joy and togetherness, but stepfamily holidays can be anything buy joyful and sometimes spent apart. But even if you have to work around two or three families' schedules, you can do several things to make your holidays happier.
*Be willing to compromise.* Kids can't be in two places at once. Ask your stepkids' other family for the holiday day and time most important to you, and offer to accept their request for what's important to them. Even if your custody papers dictate a set schedule, if changing it will accommodate both families, consider the idea. *Be creative.* And when the negotiation route doesn't work, you can be a little creative with the calendar. Thanksgiving dinner will taste as good on Friday as it will on Thursday, and Santa is eager to please -- he'll visit any night you choose. Don't worry about the calendar, focus on the experience and make it count. *Be quite.* Schedule yourself extra down time to be alone during the hectic season, starting today. The disruption to schedules can create more anxiety than a stuffed turkey can resolve, so give yourself regular breaks from trying to fit too much fun (or insanity) into too little space. *Be forgiving.* Because we all try to do too much during the holidays and have to deal with unusual circumstances, we face disappointment and irritation with others and ourselves. Give everyone a break -- especially yourself. Figuratively throw all the day's frustrations away each night before you go to bed. Then each morning, remind yourself that it's a new day, you're carrying a lighter load, and anything is possible. *Be jolly.* Okay, I know that can be a stretch sometimes, but it helps to remember, when the stress is as dense as a 10-year-old fruitcake, that good times have come before and they'll come again. When things get sticky, we can adopt the "as if" principle and help ourselves feel better. We can allow ourselves to smile and hope and find joy -- and if necessary, create some! A positive attitude is powerful and contagious. Okay, I can't help with your shopping [but candy's always good for me ;-), preferably chocolate], or your decorating or cooking, but I hope these tips will help you through the next few weeks. Remember to rest and then rest some more, because holiday stepping takes its toll. Get ready now :-)
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Warmly,
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